Posted by And I said,
“Look into my eyes, and we will drown in each other.
Hold me,
So our embrace lasts beyond time,
Until we are dust, yet one.”
But she paused—
Her gaze lingered, stealing a fraction of a second.
(Does she know how excruciating it is for me?
To resist, even for that fraction?)
She wants to talk—
Talk of the world, of wisdom, of questions unanswered.
My wisdom, her wisdom, my ignorance, her ignorance.
She wants to sit beneath the stars, to bathe in moonlight.
At dawn, she leaves my side—
She walks through the dew-kissed grass,
She touches the petals,
And when she returns, she presses her lips against mine.
Yet in that single moment of departure,
I feel lost in the hands of time.
In that fraction, when her breath is not against my skin,
I am cold, frozen—
A body abandoned in an open coffin,
Waiting for burial beneath the weight of snow.
I forsake everything.
My life is hers—
To sink into her arms, her eyes, her hair, her smile, her scent.
My pride, my honor, my existence—
All surrendered.
I want to dissolve into her,
As the sun dissolves into the ocean at dusk,
Sinking into her deep blue eyes.
But she pauses—
To look into my eyes.
She wants to speak.
I want to hide beneath her shade,
Away from the blinding light that disrupts my silence.
I long for the peace she carries,
To retreat into the darkness with her,
So close that we suffocate—
Yet still, we breathe.
Still, we live.
Dying, yet immortal.
I long to freeze these moments,
The ones slipping like sand through my fingers,
The ones I won,
The ones I bled for.
Moments. Moments. More moments.
Yet even the briefest absence—
I am undone.
A beggar to time.
A traitor to the world.
I sell my soul.
To God? To the Devil? To mere mortals?
(I do not know.)
I bribe time itself,
For that one fraction of a second—
That moment she is away.
I crave her touch upon my chest,
Her golden hair veiling my face.
When I see her, when I touch her,
When her name spills from my breath—
Her skin against mine,
Like clouds folding over the sun.
“We know,” I say.
“We are one.”
But still, she drifts, if only for a second.
And in every heartbeat she is away,
It feels like an eternity—
Like the endless, futile search for God.
I fail, I falter.
I search, I seek.
But she is gone.
I miss her breath,
The rhythm of her heart,
The sunlight of her smile,
The scent of heaven she carries,
The abyss of her eyes—
The abyss in which I long to drown.
Alas, I miss her.
Is she an angel? A goddess?
Or simply the divine I have always searched for?
In those fleeting seconds, she is lost—
And in those seconds, I find her omnipresent, omnipotent.
Or is it only her embrace that consumes my universe?
Her eyes are the sea,
Her heart, the ocean,
Her smile—endless infinity.
I wish to be lost in it forever.
And if being lost means belonging,
Then perhaps, this is fate.
To suffer the separation of a single second—
So I may cherish the eternity of her return.
And I said again,
“Don’t make me suffer.
Don’t leave me in that void.
I will fade.
I have already bribed time,
Begged for mercy.
Stay.
Let me drown.
Let me kiss.
Say no words—
Just feel.
Hold me, and we will drift beyond the stars,
Beyond the galaxies,
Beyond breath itself.
And even in suffocation,
We will live—
Breathing only the air of our love.”